I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
