I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
