Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
