oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
And then he peed in my hair
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