I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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