Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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