im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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