Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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