3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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