I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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