drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
