My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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