Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
