You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
