DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My vagina is officially offended.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
