he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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