sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
