just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
