It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Are we still banned from the library?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
