Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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