As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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