I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
