My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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