Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
barbara walters just said penis...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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