He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
