Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
