we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
