I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
