If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
