maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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