I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
