The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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