glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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