a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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