bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
