remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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