I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's official drugs can't kill me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
