If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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