So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
