Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
