a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
