yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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