wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
