Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
