watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
