Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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