hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
