i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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