what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
be right there i have to get my cape
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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