Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
