I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
