Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
