She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize