The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
