You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize