I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
