wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
