is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
