lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
sarcasm needs its own font
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
