I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize