He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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