doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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