So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
