Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Are we still banned from the library?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
