if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize