So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
