69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
