You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
