We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
