Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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