Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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