Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
