All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
